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Laughter is the best Medecine

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Employment Ads (How to Interpret Them)

Competitive Salary - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train you.

Casual Work Atmosphere’ - We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up.

"Must be Deadline Oriented" - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"Some Overtime Required" - Some time each night, some time each weekend.

"Duties will Vary" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"Must have an Eye for Detail’ We have no quality control.

"Seeking Candidates with a wide variety of experience’ - You will need to replace 3 people who’ve left.

"Problem Solving Skills a Must" - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Your first task is to find out what is going on.

Requires Team Leadership Skills’ - You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.

"Good Communication Skills’ Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they do

 

Rules for Clear Communication

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Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE. BUT THE

BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET

LESSONS

Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE

MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

Sign at a farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY 10TH TRESPASSER AND THE 9TH ONE HAS

JUST LEFT.

Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS